urgh. This would take far too long to tweet. So here I ramble.

Dissertation. Fine. Great. Whatever. Done.

The days following. A real mixed bag. Great stuff has happened.. seeing friends and family. Talking to danface and jen mucho more. Greatness ))). Comica inspiration. Taking control of a few things I really should be more assertive of. Implementing changes to elements in my daily/weekly routine that are very much foundations of that routine.. good and not so much. good and bad at the moment. In the long term could be good but could also be irreversibly bad.. hmms..

The not so uber fantastic. Graphic design work that I realise i’m really not that into compared to shizzle like comics.  Graphic design work that I realise i’m really not that into with a tutor seems to have conflicting opinions. Fantastic. Washing Machine broken. Wringing out wet clothes that shall now take 3-4 days to dry. Great. Current bad tummy. GREEEAT.

To be honest. (I think) I can deal with shit.. well I can deal with shit vaguely logically.. i’ll bitch and moan at the time (like everyone else) and then i’ll get over it. I don’t want this messiness getting into my work. ANYTHING but WORK. urgh. I have a hard time as it is. Comica talks are amazing, wonderful, INSPIRING, but inspiring for the WRONG BLOODY THING!! This is very much the case of feeling like i’m in the right place at the right time. I really hope that I have some luck with my tutor. I hate being fitted into a mould. I’m not academic. I’m not smart. I’m clumsy at communicating and the things i’m interested would bore the pants off the majority of my peers and tutors and vice versa with their interests. ARGH. I want to do shit that matters. (Which I could do anyways, but it’s so damn abstract and so vaguely applicable to the real world. Surely this kind of intellectual exclusion is just another form of snobbery. Wouldn’t it be nice to just create books that  inspire people just about going about their daily activities..)

.. moving on. A note to myself. I need to stop making stupid mistakes. EVERYWHERE. Mostly involving other people because unlike a washing machine that you break, people actually have emotions. I’ve made a series of mistakes that i’m still thinking about. Silly mistakes that most people would forget about in a few hours. Need to be more humble. Need to stop pretending to know everything, even though I know I don’t know everything.

I miss Bristol. The people, the potentials. I’ve changed since coming to London and i’m at the point where I can say that I wouldn’t mind leaving London and everything it has to offer and living and working in Bristol because there are enough good reasons. 2 good reasons. Only this time it’s wrong place, right time.

Pictures from the first comic convention in Britain 1968.

A meeting of like minded individuals.

I really should go to sleep, especially after the last few months, redecorating, running around helping parents, dissertation and a few other things that would be very impolite of me to mention. I guess this is somewhat an update of things. Without sounding like too much of an idiot, I hope, I’ve realised a few things that would make it fair to say that this is somewhat of a turning point for me. When one develops a certain awareness of things, I think its safe that some kind of penny or copper of sorts has well and truly dropped. A few of these things would include, admitting fault in something I found no flaw in for 19 years, realising that I have changed but without waiting a decade to make that observation, finally finding a necessity in punctuation and spelling words the way they were intended, as proven by this post.

The few things that I am trying to change would be my reluctance to actively try to take some vague control of what I want from my time, rather than bobbing up and down on the waves like some seagull floating oblivious to their surroundings. I’m trying actively initiate this little spark that fades out every now and then for my work. I can’t really pin down what ‘my work’ is exactly. I’ve developed an interest in talking about comics, almost more so than creating them for the time being. I’d very much like to be a journalist that focuses on comics. I guess Roger Sabin’s talks, Douglas Wolk’s Reading Comics, my dissertation and a selection of comics (mainly alternative and autobiographic) have really sparked my interest in something. I’m trying to stay in closer contact with a few friends I almost forgot about during the second year. A bad year is no excuse for forgetting the people I really value.

I’ve been going to some talks about comics, the Women in comics talk at Cambridge and a few of the ICA comica events. The feelings I get from attending really reinforce a few points I mentioned in my dissertation: 1- comics are a community. I love how we can get together to talk about what we love. Dare I make the comparison. I dare. Even with people of the same religion, there is no guarantee that you will hit it off. With comics, the overwhelming love and appreciation and admiration the fans hold for the artist who has poured hours into their work is such a strong connection. It is almost another level of celebrity, where the person in question is excessively loved and respected yet at the same time much more approachable. Sure it is a kind of self love that comes with art but it is also a sacrifice too… 2- comics are as much of a movement as they are a format. Admittedly a lot of art genres are movements also, but comics are also a medium. Comics has faced so much resistance, and the subject matter of comics is so heavily influenced by time and history and the events surrounding its production. So much of comics is a reaction to what is happening. Indie comics, zines and underground, Joe Sacco’s Palestine… What can I say I’m in love. Also attended the talk with Eddie Campbell. I’ve heard a lot of speakers, artists and they are not only fantastic speakers they’re amazing people in terms of their views and what they have to say, actually perhaps that’s what makes them great speakers. Melinda Gebbie, Dominique Goblet, Woodrow Phoenix and Eddie Campbell are a few of my favourites so far. Maybe we’re all as equally nutty and extreme as each other that’s why we relate and find these amazing artists fascinating, I don’t care. I hear them speak and I can’t describe any other feeling other than I feel so at home. Not in the sense that you understand my problems you relate to me kind of way; it’s far more positive than that. It’s the feeling, we love the same thing, we are united by the same set of beliefs. I am home. I’m sure it sounds like a ball of fluff, but once you get that feeling you’ll understand also. I’m just very glad to have this to contrast my university experiences. On a vaguely similar note, Eddie Campbell did foundation at Central school of art. Anyways. Night all.

Late night wandering on Regent street. The sheer number of suspended teabags they had made for a pretty eye catching display. This is just a snippet of the whole thing.

Sorry not the best picture, just an interesting idea of how to display an advert.

A few of the books I looked at. READING COMICS by Douglas Wolk. great read.

Reworking the second draft.

Wall of DOOM!!

The aftermath. It looks like this every time I finish a deadline.

First draft next to the second draft. See how much different the reshuffled was.

Isn’t this one of the most beautiful doors you’ve seen. This is why I love walking around the side streets of London. I am also pretty fond of buildings (i’m sure you can tell from my pictures).

5030 words

There’s the new and revised plan, colour coded and all. More complex then the last. This dissertation is driving me crazy. I cannot believe I let my tutor read this with the sentences that don’t make sense and the typos.  I absolutely must finish writing by tomorrow evening. Referencing and proof reading on Monday and then straight into indesign. Sorry to bore you all.

my i’ve been cooking like crazy lately and very mucho loving it also. Here’s a few of the things i’ve munched on recently.

steak with creamy mushroom sauce (proved by the lovely svenni) with spuds, carrots and leeks.

apple and raspberry crumble with wholemeal, oats and hazelnut crumble, eaten with cream, or my favourite CUSTARD <3

this morning’s brunch: caramelized french onion, carrots with butter, gently cooked cherry vine tomatos, leeks, polish sausages (gift from my favourite bunny) and mashed potatos with loads of butter and little chunks of sausage.

Well now.. it’s tea time I believe… hohoho

yet another texture. dried ink and gold paint sparkles in a bucket of water from a marbling experiment it took a few months to dry out and i was left with a lovely think leaf of colour crackle and sparkle.

csm library. the great thing about windows is that they overlay things for you.. and weird things crop up here and there.